English En
  • Deutsche De
  • English En
  • Français Fr
  • Русский Ru

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our marketing and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you've provided to them or which they've separately collected from you. You also may to see our Privacy Policy. By clicking the OK button below, you accept our cookies.

Authors:

Chelsea Handler Quotes

I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

Chelsea Handler

About author

Related Authors

Topics

Quotes currently Trending

One night some short weeks ago, for the first time in her not always happy life, Marilyn Monroe's soul sat down alone to a quiet supper from which it did not rise. Clifford Odets
Sadness is the matrix from which wit and irony spring; sadness is uncomfortable and creative, which is why consumer society cannot tolerate it. Germaine Greer
Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. C. S. Lewis
For a hundred years or more the world, our world, has been dying. And not one man, in these last hundred years or so, has been crazy enough to put a bomb up the asshole of creation and set it off. The world is rotting away, dying piecemeal. But it needs the coup de grace, it needs to be blown to smithereens. Not one of us is intact, and yet we have in us all the continents and the seas between the continents and the birds of the air. We are going to put it down the evolution of this world... Henry Miller
Let the people who want to have kids, have them. And let the rest of us spend the extra money on ourselves. Being gay doesn’t make you a bad person. Not wanting kids doesn’t make you a bad person. Perhaps crushing the bones in one little girl’s hand makes you a bad person, but that was an accident. Augusten Burroughs
Now a Protestant confronting a Catholic ghost is exactly Shakespeare's way of grappling with what was not simply a general social problem but one lived out in his own life. Stephen Greenblatt
I'm quite shy, so if there's a guy I like, I actually ignore him because I can't speak to him. I get all red and sweaty, and it's embarrassing. Silvia Colloca
Thomas Huxley quote: "Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the..."
Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority. Thomas Huxley
Horror and doubt distract. His troubled thoughts and from the bottom stir. The Hell within him, for within him Hell. He brings and round about him, nor from Hell. One step no more than from himself can fly. By change of place. John Milton
Sarah Jessica Parker quote: "Follow your instincts and do not let other people's opinion of..."
Follow your instincts and do not let other people's opinion of you become your opinion of yourself. Sarah Jessica Parker
Stories don't care who takes part in them. All that matters if that the story gets told, that the story repeats. Or, if you prefer to think of it like this: stories are a parasitical life form, warping lives in the service only of the story itself. Terry Prachett
J. K. Rowling quote: "I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not..."
I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there. J. K. Rowling
John L. Phillips quote: "There weren't any astronauts until I was about 10. Yuri..."
There weren't any astronauts until I was about 10. Yuri Gagarin went into space right around my 10th birthday. John L. Phillips
It was like two different photographers, and shot in three different locations and it was really fun to do. There were 12 beautiful girls in it. It was great. Gisele Bundchen
A man is born alone and dies alone; and he experiences the good and bad consequences of his karma alone; and he goes alone to hell or the Supreme abode. Chanakya