English En
  • Deutsche De
  • English En
  • Français Fr
  • Русский Ru

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our marketing and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you've provided to them or which they've separately collected from you. You also may to see our Privacy Policy. By clicking the OK button below, you accept our cookies.

Authors:

David Sedaris Quotes

My sister Amy lives above a deaf girl and has learned quite a bit of sign language. She taught some to me and so now I am able to say, “SANTA HAS A TUMOR IN HIS HEAD THE SIZE OF AN OLIVE. MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY TOMORROW BUT I DON’T THINK SO.

David Sedaris

About author

Related Authors

Topics

Quotes currently Trending

Jean-Paul Sartre quote: "Genius is not a gift, but the way a person invents in..."
Genius is not a gift, but the way a person invents in desperate circumstances. Jean-Paul Sartre
If you don't like the way the world is, you change it. You have an obligation to change it. You just do it one step at a time. Marian Wright Edelman
People, if you have any prayers, Say prayers for me: And lay me under a Christian stone. In that lost land I thought my own, To wait till the holy horn is blown, And all poor men are free. Gilbert K. Chesterton
Augusten Burroughs quote: "His laugh is made if porch swings and lemonade"
His laugh is made if porch swings and lemonade Augusten Burroughs
Carlisle Floyd quote: "Most of the important composers in our country are clustered..."
Most of the important composers in our country are clustered in the Northeast. Carlisle Floyd
Hunter S. Thompson quote: "I would feel real trapped in this life if I didn't know I..."
I would feel real trapped in this life if I didn't know I could commit suicide at any time. Hunter S. Thompson
Beyonce Knowles quote: "Tina Turner is someone that I admire, because she made her..."
Tina Turner is someone that I admire, because she made her strength feminine and sexy. Beyonce Knowles
Haile Gebrselassie quote: "You know for me when I promise something I want to deliver. If..."
You know for me when I promise something I want to deliver. If you don't, you have to disappear. Haile Gebrselassie
Diplomacy is more than saying or doing the right things at the right time, it is avoiding saying or doing the wrong things at any time. Bo Bennett
Forest Whitaker quote: "I care about people. In the end, I think they feel it. It..."
I care about people. In the end, I think they feel it. It comes across, regardless of the character I'm portraying. Forest Whitaker
Madeleine Albright quote: "The greatest thrill in my life was to represent the United..."
The greatest thrill in my life was to represent the United States of America. Madeleine Albright
You are very clever,' said the old man shyly. 'I would like to eat your brains, one day,'For some reason the books of etiquette that Daphne's grandmother had forced on her didn't quite deal with this. Of course, silly people would say to babies, 'You're so sweet I could gobble you all up!', but that sort of nonsense seemed less funny when it was said by a man in war paint who owned more than one skull. Daphne, cursed with good manners, settled for, 'It's very kind of you to say so. Terry Prachett
Neko Case quote: "I should have been an abortion. The only reason I wasn't was..."
I should have been an abortion. The only reason I wasn't was that my father was a Christian. Neko Case
Erich Segal quote: "And then I did what I had never done in his presence, much..."
And then I did what I had never done in his presence, much less in his arms. I cried. Erich Segal
Klaus Kinski quote: "Put a bird cage near the window so that the bird can see the..."
Put a bird cage near the window so that the bird can see the sky? It's much better to look than not to, even if it hurts. Klaus Kinski