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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Ambrose Bierce quotes

American Journalist, Writer June 24, 1842 – January 11, 1914

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Quotes

Ambrose Bierce quote: "Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen."
Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen. Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce quote: "Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting..."
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce quote: "Mammon, n. The god of the world's leading religion. His chief..."
Mammon, n. The god of the world's leading religion. His chief temple is in the city of New York Ambrose Bierce
Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. Ambrose Bierce
GEOLOGY, n. The science of the earth's crust --to which, doubtless, will be added that of its interior whenever a man shall come up garrulous out of a well. The geological formations of the globe already noted are catalogued thus: The Primary, or lower one, consists of rocks, bones or mired mules, gas-pipes, miners' tools, antique statues minus the nose, Spanish doubloons and ancestors. The Secondary is largely made up of red worms and moles. The Tertiary comprises railway tracks, patent... Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce quote: "Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of..."
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope. Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce quote: "Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen."
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen. Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce quote: "Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the..."
Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. Ambrose Bierce
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it. Ambrose Bierce
Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. Ambrose Bierce
Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises. Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce quote: "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce quote: "Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in..."
Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience. Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce quote: "O God! what a thing it is to be a ghost, cowering and..."
O God! what a thing it is to be a ghost, cowering and shivering in an altered world, a prey to apprehension and despair! Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce quote: "Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is..."
Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while. Ambrose Bierce

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