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Authors:
Auberon Waugh Quotes

Auberon Waugh quotes

British Author November 17, 1939 – January 16, 2001

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Quotes

It is just a lonely certainty that we are right and everybody else wrong, which makes it worthwhile for us busy-bodies to go on making a nuisance of ourselves. Our job is to keep both the simple Philistine and the greedy rich in their places, to prevent them, in their stupidity and avarice, from destroying everything that is left. Auberon Waugh
In their quest for power and self-importance, to compensate for whatever feelings of social inadequacy or sexual insecurity, they (Politicians)are prepared to perpetrate something which is hard to distinguish from mass murder if they think they can get away with it... Auberon Waugh
...the modern State's greatest single instrument of oppression, its murderous tax on drink...accounts for nearly all the miseries besetting our once-merry land; football hooliganism, colour prejudice, industrial unrest, cynicism about politicians; the list is endless. Auberon Waugh
We had to fill in forms which asked us whether we had ever been convicted of any crime. I hesitated about this. The NCO in charge, seeing me hesitate, explained kindly:'You write "No" in that line'. Auberon Waugh
Strange how much simple wisdom there is to be found in the deformed head and unprepossessing carcase of your typical London cabbie. Auberon Waugh
Now that Mandela has been released from prison we can all admit what has been apparent, that he is not a Tembu tribesman, in fact he is not an African at all. He is quite obviously Chinese. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but it makes those who persist in seeing him as a great African statesman look rather foolish. Auberon Waugh
Auberon Waugh quote: "Looking back at all the people I have insulted, I am mildly..."
Looking back at all the people I have insulted, I am mildly surprised that I am still allowed to exist. Auberon Waugh
He would insist, too, on being present at the weighing which occured at the beginning of every term. The whole school would be required to sit, naked, one by one on a red velvet weighing machine under the direction of the matron, while the headmaster smoked his pipe ruminatively above. He also insisted on supervising sixth form showers, which was slightly odd, as this as not the sort of task headmasters normally undertake...I have no reason to suppose there was anything in the slightest bit... Auberon Waugh
Whatever happens, I must be back in Somerset by Dec 1 when Mrs Shirley Williams comes to address a rally of the Social Democratic party in Bridgwater. Suitably enough, this hellish woman has chosen the local Comprehensive School as her venue. Rotten eggs and cowpats can probably be acquired locally, but stink bombs and more sophisticated devices should be brought with you. Hoax bomb calls and maniacal threatening letters should be addressed to Bridgwater Police Headquarters. Tea and biscuits... Auberon Waugh
Auberon Waugh quote: "But if one can't believe the Daily Telegraph one might as well..."
But if one can't believe the Daily Telegraph one might as well become an Existentialist. Auberon Waugh
Auberon Waugh quote: "It is impossible to be angry for very long with a man who..."
It is impossible to be angry for very long with a man who wears a wig. Auberon Waugh
Anyone wishing to communicate with Americans should do so by e-mail, which has been specially invented for the purpose, involving neither physical proximity nor speech. Auberon Waugh
There are countless horrible things happening all over the country, and horrible people prospering, but we must never allow them to disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to sabotage and annoy them whenever possible. Auberon Waugh
Auberon Waugh quote: "Unless people are prepared to declare themselves your enemies..."
Unless people are prepared to declare themselves your enemies you have to hunt around for them. Auberon Waugh
Auberon Waugh quote: "The main objection to killing people as a punishment...is that..."
The main objection to killing people as a punishment...is that killing people is wrong Auberon Waugh

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