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Authors:
Augusten Burroughs Quotes

Augusten Burroughs quotes about life

American Writer October 23, 1965

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Quotes

[My brother] shaped my young life. First, he taught me how to walk. Then, armed with sticks and dead snakes, he chased me and I learned how to run. Augusten Burroughs
I told myself, 'All I want is a normal life'. But was that true? I wasn't so sure. Because there was a part of me that enjoyed hating school, and the drama of not going, the potential consequences whatever they were. I was intrigued by the unknown. I was even slightly thrilled that my mother was such a mess. Had I become addicted to crisis? I traced my finger along the windowsill. 'Want something normal, want something normal, want something normal', I told myself. Augusten Burroughs
Rarely do very handsome men allow their faces to run around without a leash. I am not very handsome, but I am above-average handsome, which means I have spent only one-sixteenth of my life in front of a mirror practicing facial expressions, as opposed to the maybe one-fourth that a very handsome guy might have. Yet I can tell you that if I had accidentally spilled coffee on a first date, I would have immediately made facial expression number 69b: Spilled Coffee on First Date face. Augusten Burroughs
Because I've lived in one room my entire life, working at the same table that you use to pay bills at and eat at. It's going to be nice to have actual space. Augusten Burroughs
I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered most in life. Star quality. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "My life came complete with a factory-installed biological..."
My life came complete with a factory-installed biological brother seven years my senior. Augusten Burroughs
Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something that is essential to the continued quality of life. Augusten Burroughs
we were particles that came together to form into star after star after star until almost forever passed, and instead of a star what formed was life ... This is why for you, anything is possible. Because you are made of everything. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "The most valuable moments and experiences that life has to..."
The most valuable moments and experiences that life has to offer are found only along its most treacherous paths. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your..."
You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "I didn't begin life hating my grandmother. Like every child, I..."
I didn't begin life hating my grandmother. Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "But my favorite band is Curbside Life, out of Chicago."
But my favorite band is Curbside Life, out of Chicago. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "Life would be fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white,..."
Life would be fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white, PTA-meeting normal. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "Now I can add prostitute to my list of life's accomplishments."
Now I can add prostitute to my list of life's accomplishments. Augusten Burroughs

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