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Authors:
Augusten Burroughs Quotes

Augusten Burroughs quotes

American Writer October 23, 1965

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Quotes

(The new boyfriend) knows I write every day for hours but has no idea that all I’m writing about is me. It seems wiser to let him think I’m an aspiring novelist instead of just an alcoholic with a year of sobriety who spends eight hours a day writing about the other 16. Augusten Burroughs
I walked up to the house, rubbing my shoulder where it still hurt from the rifle's recoil. But soon, it wouldn't hurt because I would get used to it. It was amazing to me, what a person could get used to. Augusten Burroughs
I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him a hand job. I don't even get that. Augusten Burroughs
I'm always prepared for the worst. I was prepared to have the book come out, sell seven copies, and have to keep working in advertising, so it was just great that it was received so well and by such a huge audience. Augusten Burroughs
It is astonishingly satisfying to look at him and think Closet Case, and know he can read my mind as he looks away flushed. All Mormons are gay, I believe. Rick is merely a further example. Augusten Burroughs
It was unnerving, the way she could go from cool efficiency to sarcastic to sweet within the space of thirty seconds. I found it very manipulative and controlling. It put the other person constantly on-guard. And it was extremely intimidating because you never knew when she was going to snap. I made a mental note to refine these skills within myself. Augusten Burroughs
Not all gay men send me penis pictures. But no straight men do. And to date, no woman has sent me a picture of her vaginal canal. 'I know it's a little stretched out, but I've had four kids. What do you expect? LOL. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "Think of your head as an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there..."
Think of your head as an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "your mind is like an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone."
your mind is like an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "My brother was born without taste or the desire to be..."
My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with..."
I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she..."
My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she says sound like it went through a curling iron. Augusten Burroughs
The year I snuck an interracial lesbian couple into the background of an American Airlines commercial, I was feeling particularly flush. Augusten Burroughs
You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until you reach the spool. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "Other people sound flat to my ear; their words just hang in..."
Other people sound flat to my ear; their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl. Augusten Burroughs

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