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Authors:
Bill Maher Quotes

Bill Maher quotes

American Comedian January 20, 1956

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Quotes

Bill Maher quote: "If you think you have it tough, read history books."
If you think you have it tough, read history books. Bill Maher
Bill Maher quote: "you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong..."
you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!! Bill Maher
Bill Maher quote: "Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as..."
Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage. Bill Maher
Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence. Bill Maher
If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well, it's about time". Bill Maher
Bill Maher quote: "The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs."
The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs. Bill Maher
Bill Maher quote: "Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always..."
Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him? Bill Maher
You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery. Bill Maher
Since the topic is science, the non scientists don't get a vote. We shouldn't decide everything by polling the masses. This is the fallacy called Argumentum Ad Numerum, the idea that something is true because great number believe it, as in EAT SHIT, twenty trillions flies can't be wrong! Bill Maher
Bill Maher quote: "I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill..."
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again. Bill Maher
Bill Maher quote: "Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start..."
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Bill Maher
Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window. Bill Maher
Bill Maher quote: "Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I..."
Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit." Bill Maher
Bill Maher quote: "Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in..."
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool. Bill Maher
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt? -timecode 1:11:10 Bill Maher

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