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Authors:

Billy Connolly quotes

Scottish Comedian November 24, 1942

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Quotes

Billy Connolly quote: "I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never..."
I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter."
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace..."
Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up. Billy Connolly
I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people..."
Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army..."
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a..."
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "A fart is just your arse applauding."
A fart is just your arse applauding. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of..."
When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Billy Connolly
I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it's not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days. Billy Connolly
Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name? Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "I don't aim to offend."
I don't aim to offend. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "I like Dali and Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John..."
I like Dali and Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist. Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly quote: "Fuck the begrudgers"
Fuck the begrudgers Billy Connolly

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