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Chelsea Handler quotes about people

American Comedian February 25, 1975

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Quotes

I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people. Chelsea Handler
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. Chelsea Handler
A homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This happens to be something I have a real problem with: homeless people with pets who approach you for food. How can they have the nerve to beg for food when they have a perfectly delicious dog standing right there? I didn't care if this guy understood English or not. "Tell me when you're out of dog, buddy. Then we can talk about splitting a falafel. Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler quote: "There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't..."
There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers. Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler quote: "There are two types of people I don't trust: people who don't..."
There are two types of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers. Chelsea Handler
I've found that many of the people who have a passion for karaoke too often have misplaced confidence, which can become aggressive and border on sadistic. I know my limits, and karaoke is where I draw the line. I wouldn't put anyone through the hell of listening to me sing a song, and I sure as shit wouldn't wait in line to do it. Chelsea Handler
People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50. Chelsea Handler
Another thing I take issue with are people who take their dogs on "play dates," or even worse, people who choose to dress their dogs up in outfits better suited for homosexuals participating in a gay pride parade. Dog costumes are right up there with something else I find particularly offensive: sweater vests. Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler quote: "I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way..."
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people. Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler quote: "I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it..."
I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter. Chelsea Handler

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