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Chelsea Handler quotes about thinking

American Comedian February 25, 1975

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Quotes

I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people. Chelsea Handler
Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together. Chelsea Handler
While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs. Obviously I had to think of a more realistic approach. Chelsea Handler
People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50. Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler quote: "I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way..."
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people. Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler quote: "I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself..."
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. Chelsea Handler

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