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Chelsea Handler Quotes

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.

Chelsea Handler

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Chorus of old men: If we give them the least hold over us, 'tis all up! their audacity will know no bounds! We shall see them building ships, and fighting sea-fights like Artemisia; nay if they want to mount and ride as cavalry, we had best cashier the knights, for indeed women excel in riding, and have a fine, firm seat for the gallop. Just think of all those squadrons of Amazons Micon has painted for us engaged in hand-to-hand combat with men. Aristophanes
Ursula K. Le Guin quote: "Go to bed; tired is stupid."
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The MTV Video Awards were never about the video, but about the song. Most of the time it was just to glorify people for the wrong reason. Michel Gondry
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But nowadays everybody's a comedian, even the weather girls and continuity announcers. We laugh at everything. Not intelligently anymore, not with sudden shock, astonishment, or revelation, just relentlessly and meaninglessly. No more rain showers in the desert, just mud and drizzle everywhere, occasionally illuminated by the flash of paparazzi. Douglas Adams
In the total expanse of human life there is not a single square inch of which the Christ, who alone is sovereign, does not declare, 'That is mine!'. Abraham Kuyper
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Every day one should at least hear one little song, read one good poem, see one fine painting and -- if at all possible -- speak a few sensible words. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
There is no absolute knowledge. And those who claim it, whether they are scientists or dogmatists, open the door to tragedy. Jacob Bronowski
Who’ll come lie down in the dark with me Belly to belly and knee to knee Who’ll look into my hooded eye Who’ll lie down under my darkened thigh? Allen Ginsberg
Chuck Palahniuk quote: "Beauty is power the same way money is power the same way a gun..."
Beauty is power the same way money is power the same way a gun is power. Chuck Palahniuk