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Authors:

David Sedaris quotes about life

American Writer December 26, 1956

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Quotes

The real life of the party is flattened beneath the bed, taping actual sex encounters, not sitting cross-legged on the floor with a guitar, embarrassing himself and others. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "If nothing else, life in the suburbs promised that you might..."
If nothing else, life in the suburbs promised that you might go from day to day without finding shit in your hair. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but..."
He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the..."
To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me. David Sedaris
There was my life before I told a strange woman in a negligee that I was a homosexual, and now there would be my life after, two chapters so dissimilar in style and content that they might have been written by different people. David Sedaris
I'd Begin to imagine my life in a foreign country, some faraway land where, if things went wrong, i could always blame somebody else, saying I'd never wanted to live there in the first place. David Sedaris
The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave us a lecture on keeping things clean. She held up a calendar and said, "Ladies, you know what this is. Use it. I have scraped enough blood out from the crotches of elf knickers to last me the rest of my life. And don't tell me, 'I don't wear underpants, I'm a dancer.' You're not a dancer. If you were a real dancer you wouldn't be here. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's."
I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's. David Sedaris
Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I have ever seen in my life - no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito. David Sedaris

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