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Authors:

David Sedaris quotes

American Writer December 26, 1956

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Quotes

David Sedaris quote: "True art was based upon despair, and the important thing was..."
True art was based upon despair, and the important thing was to make yourself and those around you as miserable as possible. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "Watch, hell,' Walt said. 'This is strip poker. What kind of..."
Watch, hell,' Walt said. 'This is strip poker. What kind of homo wants to sit around and watch four guys get naked? David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine."
I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine. David Sedaris
I don't care if it can count words or rearrange paragraphs at the push of a button, I don't want a computer. Unlike the faint scurry raised by fingers against a plastic computer keyboard, the smack and clatter of a typewriter suggests that you're actually building something. At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake..."
but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "If a person who constantly reads is labeled a bookworm, then I..."
If a person who constantly reads is labeled a bookworm, then I was quickly becoming what might be called a tapeworm. David Sedaris
I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "The thing to remeber is that more than anything in this world,..."
The thing to remeber is that more than anything in this world, these colored people wish they were white. David Sedaris
Right, I breast feed baby camels in my backyard just for the freaking fun of it. Just tell me where you live, Pinocchio, and save the baloney for lunch. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "Thanks stadium pal!"
Thanks stadium pal! David Sedaris
Since when do politics affect a mammals ability to sustain a flame? That aside, who says a burning mouse can't run a distance of twelve feet? David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British..."
I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "This grown man who now phones his father to say,..."
This grown man who now phones his father to say, "Motherfucker, I ain't seen pussy so long, I'd throw stones at it. David Sedaris
I attributed their behavior to the fact that they didn't have a TV, but television didn't teach you everything. Asking for candy on Halloween was called trick-or-treating, but asking for candy on November first was called begging, and it made people uncomfortable. This was one of the things you were supposed to learn simply by being alive, and it angered me that the Tomkeys did not understand it. David Sedaris
Walking home with the back half of the twelve-foot ladder I turned to look in the direction of Hugh’s loft. 'You will be mine,' I commanded. David Sedaris

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