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Authors:

David Sedaris quotes

American Writer December 26, 1956

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Quotes

David Sedaris quote: "Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people..."
Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit? David Sedaris
We give anonymously because the sackfuls of thank-you letters break our hearts with their clumsy handwriting and hopeless phonetic spelling. David Sedaris
And it’s bad enough to be caught in your underpants but even worse to be caught in your underpants scratching out a valium prescription on someone else’s pad. David Sedaris
I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call "understanding" is basically just fantasizing. David Sedaris
This was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable. David Sedaris
All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron..."
Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself. David Sedaris
At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "Because I've always been a fairly nervous person."
Because I've always been a fairly nervous person. David Sedaris
His embarassment would have pleased me, but once he recovered, there would be that awkward period that sometimes culminates in a handshake. I didn't want to touch these people's hands or see things from their point of view, I just wanted to continue hating them. So I kept my mouth shut and stared off into space. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "The Korean man nodded, the way you do when you’re a foreigner..."
The Korean man nodded, the way you do when you’re a foreigner and understand that someone has finished a sentence. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one..."
No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "I think it's important to take chances."
I think it's important to take chances. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing..."
Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's..."
He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's run before he judges us! David Sedaris

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