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Authors:

David Sedaris quotes

American Writer December 26, 1956

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Quotes

David Sedaris quote: "It's just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking."
It's just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking. David Sedaris
I would clear the table and Hugh would do the dishes, neither of us speaking and both of us wondering if this just might be the one to do it. 'I hear you guys broke up over a plastic hand,' people would say, and my rage would renew itself. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my..."
As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character. David Sedaris
What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was damned if I could find it. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "Faced with an exciting question, science tended to provide the..."
Faced with an exciting question, science tended to provide the dullest possible answer. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left..."
Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto. David Sedaris
They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of fame is the loss of privacy. David Sedaris
Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downsing that is sure to follow. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "I see you that have a little swimming mouse"
I see you that have a little swimming mouse David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "I don't like being left to my own thoughts."
I don't like being left to my own thoughts. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat..."
When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy. David Sedaris
I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.' David Sedaris
I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen. David Sedaris
David Sedaris quote: "The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and..."
The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day. David Sedaris
Motherfucker, you try that again and I'll come in there with a fucking coat hanger and give you something to fucking kick about David Sedaris

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