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Demetri Martin quotes

American Comedian May 25, 1973

TOP 10 Demetri Martin quotes

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Quotes

Demetri Martin quote: "Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets."
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "To me, comedy is a game."
To me, comedy is a game. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite."
And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm'..."
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat..."
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it..."
REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "Another term for balloon is bad breath holder."
Another term for balloon is bad breath holder. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when..."
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.' Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "Let no man's deathbed be a futon."
Let no man's deathbed be a futon. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess,..."
I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size..."
I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why..."
I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies."
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'."
I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "I never set out to do a sketch show."
I never set out to do a sketch show. Demetri Martin

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