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Demetri Martin quotes

American Comedian May 25, 1973

TOP 10 Demetri Martin quotes

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Quotes

Demetri Martin quote: "My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not..."
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm..."
I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "I'm always excited to try something I haven't done."
I'm always excited to try something I haven't done. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just..."
If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters. Demetri Martin
THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait. Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin quote: "If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!"
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! Demetri Martin

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