English En
  • Deutsche De
  • English En
  • Français Fr
  • Русский Ru

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our marketing and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you've provided to them or which they've separately collected from you. You also may to see our Privacy Policy. By clicking the OK button below, you accept our cookies.

Authors:

Demetri Martin Quotes

About a month ago I got a cactus. A week later, it died. I was really depressed because I was like, 'Damn! I am less nurturing than a desert.

Demetri Martin

About author

Related Authors

Topics

Quotes currently Trending

Louis B. Mayer quote: "Be smart, but never show it."
Be smart, but never show it. Louis B. Mayer
At the end of the day, man, you can't protect yourself from a haymaker that's coming in toward your face if you don't see it coming. Busta Rhymes
Joan Didion quote: "My own fantasies of what life would be like at 24 tended to..."
My own fantasies of what life would be like at 24 tended to the more spectacular. Joan Didion
Something else an academic education will do for you. If you go along with it any considerable distance, it will begin to give you an idea what size mind you have. What’ll fit and, maybe, what it won’t. After a while, you’ll have an idea what kind of thoughts your mind should be wearing. For one thing, it may save you an extraordinary amount of time trying on ideas that won’t suit you, aren’t becoming to you. You’ll begin to know your true measurements and dress your mind accordingly. J. D. Salinger
Charlize Theron quote: "I hate actors who come and quote Nietzsche."
I hate actors who come and quote Nietzsche. Charlize Theron
I couldn't be in a relationship and behave like somebody else or pretend I felt something I didn't feel. And that includes saying things I thought might jeopardize the relationship. Kenny Loggins
Charlie Sheen quote: "Duh, Winning!!!!(hhahaha)"
Duh, Winning!!!!(hhahaha) Charlie Sheen
What a computer is to me is the most remarkable tool that we have ever come up with. It's the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds. Steve Jobs
The setting sun, and music at the close, As the last taste of sweets, is sweetest last, Writ in remembrance more than things long past. William Shakespeare
Sienna Miller quote: "I'm stupidly proud of myself."
I'm stupidly proud of myself. Sienna Miller
I learned at a very early age, the easiest thing in the world is to tell the truth, and then you don't have to remember what you said. It has nothing to do with morality, just remembering what you said. Robert Evans
Napoleon Bonaparte quote: "Never tell your enemy he is doing the wrong thing."
Never tell your enemy he is doing the wrong thing. Napoleon Bonaparte
I got a part as a chorus girl in a show called Every Sailor and I had fun doing it. Mother didn't really approve of it, through. James Cagney
Each day more coalition MPs in seats outside the South East come out against George Osborne's regional pay cut plans, and Vince Cable now claims they are dead. Frances O'Grady
At least Lester had the decency to weep at his act of perfidy. Reader, do you know what 'perfidy' means? I have a feeling you do, based on the scene that unfolded here. But you should look up the word in your dictionary, just to be sure. Kate DiCamillo