English En
  • Deutsche De
  • English En
  • Français Fr
  • Русский Ru

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our marketing and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you've provided to them or which they've separately collected from you. You also may to see our Privacy Policy. By clicking the OK button below, you accept our cookies.

Authors:
Eddie Izzard Quotes

Eddie Izzard quotes

British Comedian February 7, 1962

Eddie Izzard quotes in russian
 Cite this Page: Citation

Quotes

Eddie Izzard quote: "I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup."
I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup. Eddie Izzard
If you commit perjury I don't care. Don't give a shit. I don't think you should because you grade murder. You have murder One. Murder Two. You realize that there can be a difference in the level of murder. So there must be a difference in the level of perjury. Perjury One is when you're saying there's no Holocaust when, you know, 10 million people have died in it, and Perjury Nine, is when you said you shagged someone and you didn't. Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard quote: "If you get anything creative going, then the work and play..."
If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel. Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard quote: "Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original si? I..."
Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original si? I poked a badger with a spoon. Eddie Izzard
Pears can just fuck off too. 'Cause they're gorgeous little beasts, but they're ripe for half an hour, and you're never there. They're like a rock or they're mush. In the supermarket, people banging in nails. "I'll just put these shelves up, mate, then you can have the pear."? So you think, "I'll take them home and they'll ripen up." But you put them in the bowl at home, and they sit there, going, "No! No! Don't ripen yet, don't ripen yet. Wait til he goes out the room! Ripen! Now now now! Eddie Izzard
This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight...one, from...here to there. We'll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve and a half feet if we see anything big. And our copilot today is a flask of coffee. Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard quote: "Cake and tea or death?"
Cake and tea or death? Eddie Izzard
If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay. Eddie Izzard
So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for fuck all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard. Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard quote: "Cake or death?"
Cake or death? Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard quote: "If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not..."
If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan. Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard quote: "Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food,..."
Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal. Eddie Izzard
They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard quote: "We will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my..."
We will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my hairdo all about? Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard quote: "They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them."
They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them. Eddie Izzard

Popular Author

Related Authors