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Erma Bombeck quotes about mother

American Journalist February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996

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Quotes

I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, "I told you so. Erma Bombeck
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. Erma Bombeck
Of the little less than a million eligibles roaming around, 5 percent don't know their sign and don't even care. Another 5 percent are tied to their mothers by a food fixation. That leaves only 20 percent who are searching for a girl who will pick up their clothes, run their baths, burn her fingers shelling their three-minute eggs, run their errands, bear them a child every year, look like a fashion model, tend their needs when they are sick, and hold down a full-time job outside the home... Erma Bombeck
Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change? Erma Bombeck
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago. Erma Bombeck
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and..."
You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly..."
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League..."
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. Erma Bombeck
There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it. Erma Bombeck
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular..."
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born. Erma Bombeck
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "when go created mothers"
when go created mothers Erma Bombeck

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