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Authors:

Erma Bombeck quotes

American Journalist February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996

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Quotes

Erma Bombeck quote: "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be..."
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do..."
Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Laugh now, cry later."
Laugh now, cry later. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "When humor goes, there goes civilization."
When humor goes, there goes civilization. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick."
Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a..."
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's..."
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and..."
There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage."
Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies."
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it."
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. Erma Bombeck

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