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Authors:

Fred Allen quotes

American Comedian May 31, 1894 – March 17, 1956

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Quotes

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "An actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy..."
An actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be..."
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Fred Allen
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that..."
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people..."
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good..."
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from..."
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're..."
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane..."
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college,..."
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be..."
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. Fred Allen
Fred Allen quote: "I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own..."
I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement. Fred Allen

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