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Garrison Keillor Quotes

Garrison Keillor quotes about saying

American Writer August 7, 1942

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Quotes

I can see how I could write a bold account of myself as a passionate man who rose from humble beginnings to cut a wide swath in the world, whose crimes along the way might be written off to extravagance and love and art, and could even almost believe some of it myself on certain days after the sun went down if I’d had a snort or two and was in Los Angeles and it was February and I was twenty-four, but I find a truer account in the Herald-Star, where it says: “Mr. Gary Keillor visited at the... Garrison Keillor
I used to think that kid might become a preacher. Now I don't see how he's going to stay out of prison. Nobody in this family ever went to prison for sex crimes. He'd be the first."Yes," says Jesus, "you never know about these things."He and Grandpa are drinking cups of coffee and eating ginger snaps. Grandpa says, "When are you planning to return to earth?"Soon as I finish this coffee," say Jesus. "Pretty good, isn't it. Garrison Keillor
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. Garrison Keillor
The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, 'Daddy, I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor quote: "The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that,..."
The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles. Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor quote: "Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her..."
Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that. Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor quote: "I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't..."
I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.' Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor quote: "The most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that."
The most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that. Garrison Keillor

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