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Henny Youngman quotes

American Comedian March 16, 1906 – February 24, 1998

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Quotes

Henny Youngman quote: "If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas."
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas. Henny Youngman
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If..."
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started. Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling..."
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position! Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "Dancing on pointe...Why don't they just get taller girls?"
Dancing on pointe...Why don't they just get taller girls? Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry..."
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night!..."
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out. Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match."
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match. Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were..."
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated! Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman quote: "My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad;..."
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City? Henny Youngman

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