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Henny Youngman Quotes

Henny Youngman quote: "I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to..."

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Henny Youngman

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Words to me were magic. You could say a word and it could conjure up all kinds of images or feelings or a chilly sensation or whatever. It was amazing to me that words had this power. Amy Tan
For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast, And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed; And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill, And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still! George Byron
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Yet in all those cases I finally steeled myself to seize the opportunity, and find a way to muddle through and eventually conclude that I had, in fact, chosen the right path, as risky as it seemed at the time. Vinton Cerf
Today, the people are governing the governments. And when they begin to talk to each other, they are surprised, they can be friends. Why should we hate each other? Shimon Peres
I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid. Paris Hilton
Socialists ignore the side of man that is the spirit. They can provide you shelter, fill your belly with bacon and beans, treat you when you're ill, all the things guaranteed to a prisoner or a slave. They don't understand that we also dream. Ronald Reagan
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I've been at the funerals of a lot of people in my neighborhood. Sometimes when I sit back and relax, I think about that and just blank out. Carmelo Anthony
It is so easy to let life go by us in its swift amusing course, that sometimes it hardly seems worthwhile to attempt any bold strokes for truth. Truth, of course, does not need assistance; it can afford to ignore our errors. But in this quiet place, among the whisper of the trees, I seem to have heard a disconcerning sound. I have heard laughter, and I think it is the laughter of God. Christopher Morley
What I love in a woman is not what she is in and for herself, but the side of herself she turns towards me, what she is for me. I love her as character in our common love story. what wuld Hamlet be without the castle at Elsinore, without Ophelia, without all the concrete situations he goes through, what would he be without the text of his part? What would be left but an empty, dumb, illusory essence? Milan Kundera
Oh! Stars and clouds and winds, ye are all about to mock me; if ye really pity me, crush sensation and memory; let me become as nought; but if not, depart, depart, and leave me in darkness. Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
Richard Brinsley Sheridan quote: "When of a gossiping circle it was asked, "What are they..."
When of a gossiping circle it was asked, "What are they doing?" The answer was, "Swapping lies. Richard Brinsley Sheridan
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Jock Sturges quote: "I'm guilty of extraordinary naivete, I suppose. But it's a..."
I'm guilty of extraordinary naivete, I suppose. But it's a naivete that I really don't want to abandon, not even now. Jock Sturges