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Henny Youngman Quotes

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

Henny Youngman

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I am very averse to bringing myself forward in print, but as my account will only appear as an appendage to a former production, and as it will be confined to such topics as have connection with my authorship alone, I can hardly accuse myself of a personal intrusion. Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
The most terrible thing about it is not that it breaks one’s heart—hearts are made to be broken—but that it turns one’s heart to stone. Oscar Wilde
Let us arise and go nowto the Isle of Manisfreeand live the true blue simple lifeof wisdom and wondermentwhere all things growstraight upaslant and singingin the yellow sunpoppies out of cowpodsthinking angels out of turds. I must arise and go nowto the Isle of Manisfreeway up behind the broken wordsand woods of Arcady. Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives. Doug Coupland
The mysteriousness and mystique of space is such, that science fiction attempts to tantalize you by telling you a story that could possibly be out there and that's the appeal of science fiction. William Shatner
A self does not amount to much, but no self is an island; each exists in a fabric of relations that is now more complex and mobile than ever before. Jean-Francois Lyotard
In Australia, they set up a special fund to kick films off. It was quite an enlightened sort of move. You could go to this government bureau with scripts and and get finance for films. Bruce Beresford
We should not blur the lines between legal and illegal immigrants. Millions of people around the world have gone through the process to come here legally and they followed the rules that required them to pay a fee, learn English, and learn about American history and government. Ken Calvert
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I'm so busy right now, it's the beginning of the hockey season for my kids. Curtis Joseph
Oswald Chambers quote: "We look upon the enemy of our souls as a conquered foe, so he..."
We look upon the enemy of our souls as a conquered foe, so he is, but only to God, not to us. Oswald Chambers
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My knee feels good right now. I am definitely able to move about whichever way. Michael Chang
My father always used to say, 'College is the best thing that will ever happen to you.' And, he was right, as that was where I discovered drugs, drinking, and smoking. David Sedaris
There is an atmosphere about the picture theatre that speaks of entertainment and relaxation. The charming surroundings, good music, and the fact that each visitor is determined to enjoy a few hours of holiday all exert an influence on the mind. Ivor Novello
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I have a secret love of jazz. Carly Rae Jepsen
There's a part of me that wishes I'd never said one single solitary word on any subject publicly. Then I could have been the tortured poet, and there's so much mileage in that. But it's too late to stop now. Richard Thompson