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Jackie Mason Quotes

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

Jackie Mason

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I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and colours scrapping in the middle of the room, and then they all shot past me with a rush and out of the front door; and all that was left of the mobscene was the head of a whacking big fish, lying on the carpet and staring up at me in a rather austere sort of way, as if it wanted a written explanation and apology. P. G. Wodehouse
Helen Rowland quote: "Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of..."
Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. Helen Rowland
Paul Martin quote: "Every Canadian who wants to learn should have the opportunity..."
Every Canadian who wants to learn should have the opportunity to do so. Paul Martin
Nations without a past are contradictions in terms. What makes a nation is the past, what justifies one nation against others is the past, and historians are the people who produce it. Eric Hobsbawm
Norah Jones quote: "I love my dad and we have a very good relationship now."
I love my dad and we have a very good relationship now. Norah Jones
Death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed. Mitch Albom
Be nobody's darling; Be an outcast. Take the contradictions. Of your life. And wrap around. You like a shawl, To parry stones. To keep you warm. Alice Walker
Bo Diddley quote: "You look like you bin whupped with a ugly stick."
You look like you bin whupped with a ugly stick. Bo Diddley
Troy Perry quote: "I always say that as a Christian I cannot find any passage in..."
I always say that as a Christian I cannot find any passage in the Gospels in which Jesus condemned homosexuality. Troy Perry
Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply; and it must be by a long and unnatural estrangement, by a divorce which no subsequent connection can justify, if such precious remains of the earliest attachments are ever entirely outlived. Jane Austen
Sean Paul quote: "I would like to work with anyone in the business who wants to..."
I would like to work with anyone in the business who wants to give respect back to the Jamaican vibe. Sean Paul
It's very difficult to judge relationships from the outside. You never know what happens in intimate moments with two people to know why they really support and love each other. Eric Braeden
The cable news channels have cleverly seized on the creed of objectivity and redefined it in populist terms. They attack news based on verifiable fact for its liberal bias, for, in essence, failing to be objective, and promise a return to “genuine” objectivity. Chris Hedges
Portia de Rossi quote: "I ran into Ellen at a photo shoot. She took my breath away...."
I ran into Ellen at a photo shoot. She took my breath away. That had never happened to me in my life. Portia de Rossi
Rap actually took root in the Negro community, and then in the Hispanic community, long before it impacted on the larger American community as a whole. Archie Shepp