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Authors:

Jay London quotes

American Comedian

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Quotes

Jay London quote: "My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings."
My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings. Jay London
Jay London quote: "A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock."
A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock. Jay London
Jay London quote: "I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off..."
I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it. Jay London
Jay London quote: "Did you know that today will never be tomorrow."
Did you know that today will never be tomorrow. Jay London
After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride. Jay London
Jay London quote: "They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more..."
They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults. Jay London
Jay London quote: "I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can..."
I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough. Jay London
Jay London quote: "I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear..."
I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world. Jay London
Jay London quote: "I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody."
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody. Jay London
Jay London quote: "Do you know it was a year a ago today?"
Do you know it was a year a ago today? Jay London
Jay London quote: "A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked."
A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked. Jay London
Jay London quote: "I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and..."
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? Jay London
Jay London quote: "I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness."
I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness. Jay London
Jay London quote: "You know what burns me? Matches."
You know what burns me? Matches. Jay London
Jay London quote: "Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?"
Does anybody know what I'm doing up here? Jay London

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