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John Mortimer quotes

English Novelist April 21, 1923 – January 16, 2009

John Mortimer quotes in german
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Quotes

Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake; all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about. John Mortimer
Sport, as I have discovered, fosters international hostility and leads the audience, no doubt from boredom, to assault and do grievous bodily harm while watching it. The fact that audiences at the National Theatre rarely break bottles over one another's heads, and that Opera fans seldom knee one another in the groin during the long intervals at Covent Garden, convinces me that theatre is safer than sport. John Mortimer
Up the stairs I found an imposing headquarters, decorated with the portraits and busts of solemn, whiskered old darlings who, no doubt, bled their customers with leeches and passed on the information to alarmed small boys that self-abuse leads to blindness. John Mortimer
On the three pigs he and his wife own: "We acquired the pigs last year. My wife was born on a pig farm and has always been very fond of pigs. Of course, they are for eating, which is why they are named Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. You wouldn’t want to eat Rufus, Marcus and Esmeralda. John Mortimer
John Mortimer quote: "The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been..."
The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound more alluring than freedom of speech. John Mortimer
John Mortimer quote: "The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is..."
The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself. John Mortimer
John Mortimer quote: "To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a..."
To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph. John Mortimer
John Mortimer quote: "She who must be obeyed," by Horace Rumpole character"
She who must be obeyed," by Horace Rumpole character John Mortimer
John Mortimer quote: "I sent out words like soldiers to battle and they never returned."
I sent out words like soldiers to battle and they never returned. John Mortimer
John Mortimer quote: "No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense,..."
No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails. John Mortimer
On the cover of this publication a bikini-clad young woman disported herself with a medicine ball, both articles looking as though they had been inflated with a bicycle pump. John Mortimer
John Mortimer quote: "Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute."
Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute. John Mortimer
John Mortimer quote: "There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three..."
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. John Mortimer

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