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Jon Stewart Quotes

Jon Stewart quotes

American Entertainer November 28, 1962

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Quotes

Jon Stewart quote: "You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize..."
You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect. Jon Stewart
We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea. Jon Stewart
It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs. Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested,..."
If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies. Jon Stewart
The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day. Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your..."
If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news. Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?"
What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do? Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was..."
I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her. Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I..."
Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center. Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a..."
I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character. Jon Stewart
Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn’t want to go. Germany. The Michael Jordan of war took a pass. Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to..."
Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid. Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox."
We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox. Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k."
And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k. Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart quote: "I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression..."
I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. Jon Stewart

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