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Jon Stewart Quotes

Jon Stewart quote: "If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your..."

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

Jon Stewart

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I have always held those political opinions which point to the universal brotherhood of man, no matter in what rank of life he may have taken his origin. Alexander Mackenzie
My view is pensioners don't have the one option that people of working age have. They can't really increase their income, because they are no longer able to work. Iain Duncan Smith
Kurt Vonnegut quote: "I love you, because the love you gave me was the only love..."
I love you, because the love you gave me was the only love I've ever had, the only love I ever will have Kurt Vonnegut
Devotion signifies a life given, or devoted to God. He therefore is the devout man, who lives no longer to his own will, or the way and spirit of the world, but to the sole will of God, who considers God in everything, who serves God in everything, who makes all the parts of his common life, parts of piety, by doing everything in the name of God, and under such rules as are conformable to his Glory. William Law
Christopher Eccleston quote: "I used my instincts. It's very easy to imagine how you'd feel,..."
I used my instincts. It's very easy to imagine how you'd feel, actually. I just had to tell the narrative. Christopher Eccleston
Tom Stoppard quote: "You think human nature is a beast, that it must be put in a..."
You think human nature is a beast, that it must be put in a cage. But it's the cage that makes the animal bad. Tom Stoppard
Bob Riley quote: "You elected government officials to make decisions and it's..."
You elected government officials to make decisions and it's about time they started making good ones. Bob Riley
Snooki is really beautiful and looks quite like Elizabeth Taylor in 'Cleopatra.' She has the same bone structure. I'm kind of obsessed with 'Jersey Shore.' People don't give them enough credit for how entertaining they are. Margaret Cho
Chris Evert quote: "If you're a champion, you have to have it in your heart."
If you're a champion, you have to have it in your heart. Chris Evert
That’s what I always wanted to know. Why would some fella be willing to do something generous for a kid he doesn’t even know?” Rodney asked. “Have to say I’m surprised, Mr. Burton. Of all the people on the face of the earth,” he said, his voice softening, “I figured if anyone knew the answer to that one, it’d be you. Kenny Rogers
On a ruinous wall I came upon a poster dating from the previous year and announcing that ‘six handsome bulls’ would be killed in the arena on such and such a date. How forlorn its faded colours looked. Where were the handsome bulls and the handsome bull-fighters now? It appeared that even in Barcelona there were hardly any bullfights nowadays - for some reason all the best matadors were Fascists. George Orwell
From my point of view what I have to do now is appreciate and enjoy what football gave me, but now do something else with the same energy and enthusiasm I gave to football without expecting the same results. Graeme Le Saux
Jennifer Weiner quote: "I was an English major in college, took a ton of creative..."
I was an English major in college, took a ton of creative writing courses, and was a newspaper reporter for 10 years. Jennifer Weiner
Lee Scott quote: "But they are also better, our competitors are better because..."
But they are also better, our competitors are better because Wal-Mart exists. Lee Scott
I have a sack of hate mail that I want to respond to. One day, when I’m tired or tipsy, I will respond and tell them what I think. Chris Colfer