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Authors:
Joseph Heller Quotes

Joseph Heller quotes

American Novelist, Writer May 1, 1923 – December 12, 1999

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Quotes

Joseph Heller quote: "What do you do when it rains?"The captain answered frankly. "I..."
What do you do when it rains?"The captain answered frankly. "I get wet. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "It isn't necessary to call me Father, the chaplain explained...."
It isn't necessary to call me Father, the chaplain explained. I'm an Anabaptist. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of..."
Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives. Joseph Heller
Oh, Im not complaining. I know theres a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them? Joseph Heller
All over the world, boys on every side of bomb line were laying down their lives for what they had been told was their country, and no one seemed to mind, least of all the boys who were laying down their young lives. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "All you've got to do is lie there a few minutes and die a little."
All you've got to do is lie there a few minutes and die a little. Joseph Heller
Look, I might keep interested in this if you stop shouting it all over the island and if you stick to killing Colonel Cathcart. But if you're going to turn it into a bloodbath, you can forget about me. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "Help him! Help who? Help the bombardier! I’m a..."
Help him! Help who? Help the bombardier! I’m a bombardier. Help him, help him! Help who? Joseph Heller
With a little ingenuity and vision, he had made it all but impossible for anyone in the squadron to talk to him, which was just fine with everyone, he noticed, since no one wanted to talk to him anyway. Joseph Heller
It's only that I feel an injustice has been committed. Why should I have somebody else's malaria and you have my dose of clap? Joseph Heller
Like hell he was," said the first C.I.D. man. "I'm the C.I.D. man arround here." Major Major could barely recognize him because he was wearing a faded maroon corduroy bathrobe with open seams under both arms, linty flannel pajamas, & worn house slippers with one flapping sole. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "I think in every country that there is at least one executive..."
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "They think that they’re smart, and that the rest of us are dumb."
They think that they’re smart, and that the rest of us are dumb. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to..."
It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret"
He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret Joseph Heller

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