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Milton Berle Quotes

Milton Berle quotes

American Comedian July 12, 1908 – March 27, 2002

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Quotes

Milton Berle quote: "You don't need to travel, laughter is an instant vacation"
You don't need to travel, laughter is an instant vacation Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "The only place success comes before is in the dictionary"
The only place success comes before is in the dictionary Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Milton Berle
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, "Did you miss a step?" "No," he answers, "I hit every one of them! Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm..."
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "Laughter is an instant vacation."
Laughter is an instant vacation. Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a..."
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be..."
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter..."
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring. Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."
Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. Milton Berle
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are. Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle
Milton Berle quote: "When opportunity doesn't knock, create a door"
When opportunity doesn't knock, create a door Milton Berle

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