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Norm MacDonald Quotes

Norm MacDonald quote: "I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the..."

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Norm MacDonald

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As President Obama clearly said just a few months ago, China must play by the international rules, the international trading system from which they've benefited so much. Gary Locke
The taipan is the one to watch out for. It is the most poisonous snake on Earth, with a lunge so swift and a venom so potent that your last mortal utterance is likely to be: "I say, is that a sn-- Bill Bryson
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forget the past, for it is gone from your domain! forget the future, for it is beyond your reach! control the present! Live supremely well now! This is the way of the wise... Paramahansa Yogananda
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It's easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself. Johannes Sebastian Bach
Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size. Virginia Woolf
The nice thing about the Bible is it doesn't give you too many facts. Two an a half lines and it tells you the whole story and that leaves you a great deal of freedom to elaborate on how it might have happened. Howard Nemerov
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Not many of us are willing to give up everything we have. Roger Moore
I wrote my first real murder story as a journalist for the Daytona Beach News Journal in 1980. It was about a body found in the woods. Later, the murder was linked to a serial killer who was later caught and executed for his crimes. Michael Connelly
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The hardest thing is at the end you have to say bye to all these people who you have worked with for so many months. It was really sad not to see them anymore. But you have the parties that you go to and you get to see them, like the premieres and the screenings. Dakota Fanning
He is a brilliant man, said Miss Doggett. She helped him a good deal in his work, I think. Mrs. Bonner says that she even learned to type so that she could type his manuscripts for him. 'Oh, then he had to marry her,' said Miss Morrow sharply. 'That kind of devotion is worse than blackmail - a man has no escape from that. Barbara Pym
At that age, feeling unpopular is difficult to handle. It's a hard feeling to shake off. Feeling comfortable in my own skin has never been easy for me. Rachel Stevens