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Authors:
Patton Oswalt Quotes

Patton Oswalt quotes

American Comedian January 27, 1969

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Quotes

I had to go back and reread the page a few times. As I read it, I kept drifting out of the book, out of the booth, and coasting on the green crest of the song, to the momentary idea that any point on Earth was mine for the visiting, that I'd lucked out living in the reality I was in. And I also got the feeling I was souring and damaging that luck by enjoying the contentment of pulling the shades on the sun, and shutting out my fellow employees and the world, and folding myself up in the... Patton Oswalt
And you'll walk in rolling your eyes and you'll walk out whistling sadly through your teeth because the fuel of the Nerd Mafia is disappointment and exclusion.- On the Watchmen movie Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on..."
If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness. Patton Oswalt
90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I..."
I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do. Patton Oswalt
Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period. Patton Oswalt
I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything. Patton Oswalt
I don't care how high my shrink increases my Lexapro dosage - I WANT TO BE A ROBOT THAT HELPS WOLVES HAVE SEX. Otherwise my parents threw away the money they spent on my college education. Patton Oswalt
I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form. Patton Oswalt
That shit [religion] was going on all over the planet. They would tell them about sky cookies, or sky pie, or sky baklava. And as each of these civilizations grew, they built ships; they'd go visit each other, and the one guy would walk off the boat and go,'Hey, did you hear the good news about the sky baklava?' and the first guy went,'It's CAKE, motherfucker! You're dead! Patton Oswalt
I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy. Patton Oswalt
I visited Surrey in the early fall of 1994, and I would return only if I was tasked to kill a demon to save the world. Maybe not even then. Sorry, Surrey. Sorry, world. Yay, hypothetical demon. Patton Oswalt
Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic..."
It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now. Patton Oswalt
Roddy the assistant manager lived in the theater. He'd emptied out one of the supply closets. He'd installed an inflatable mattress, a Shower Anywhere portable shower, and a wee television. He slept amid the powdered-butter fumes and empty drink-syrup tanks. He had grub-white skin and Goth circles under his eyes that, unlike those of Goths, came from really, truly existing half in the world of the dead. He smelled like carpeting, Scotch tape, and steak sauce. He was almost forty but had... Patton Oswalt

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