English En
  • Deutsche De
  • English En
  • Français Fr
  • Русский Ru

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our marketing and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you've provided to them or which they've separately collected from you. You also may to see our Privacy Policy. By clicking the OK button below, you accept our cookies.

Authors:
Patton Oswalt Quotes

Patton Oswalt quotes

American Comedian January 27, 1969

Cite this Page: Citation

Quotes

I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see. Patton Oswalt
I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians. Patton Oswalt
hobos' (a slang term that combines the words 'hope' and 'bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who then initiated intercourse') Patton Oswalt
During the "first Thanksgiving" at Plymouth, Wampanoag Indians - including a Patuxet Indian named Squanto - helped teach Pilgrims how to farm, fish, and hunt and shared the bounty of that first feast. A TRADITION THAT CONTINUES TODAY AND JESUS AND 9/11. Patton Oswalt
I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge..."
George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits."
Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "People will find transformation and transcendence in a..."
People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got. Patton Oswalt
Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet..."
Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you."
I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40..."
If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to..."
I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "Its gaze unlocked a room in my nightmares which should have..."
Its gaze unlocked a room in my nightmares which should have remained closed. Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt quote: "Comedy and terror and autobiography and comics and..."
Comedy and terror and autobiography and comics and literature-they're all the same thing. To me. Patton Oswalt

Popular Author

Related Authors