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Authors:

S. J. Perelman quotes

American Writer February 1, 1904 – October 17, 1979

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Quotes

S. J. Perelman quote: "Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the..."
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring. S. J. Perelman
I guess I'm just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation's laws. S. J. Perelman
If, at the close of business each evening, I myself can understand what I've written, I feel the day hasn't been totally wasted. S. J. Perelman
I'll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they've gone, I'll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again. S. J. Perelman
One stifling summer afternoon last August, in the attic of a tiny stone house in Pennsylvania, I made a most interesting discovery: the shortest, cheapest method of inducing a nervous breakdown ever perfected. In this technique..., the subject is placed in a sharply sloping attic heated to 340 F and given a mothproof closet known as the Jiffy-Cloz to assemble. S. J. Perelman
S. J. Perelman quote: "He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my..."
He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it. S. J. Perelman
You'll have to leave my meals on a tray outside the door because I'll beworking pretty late on the secret of making myself invisible, which may take me almost until eleven o'clock. S. J. Perelman
S. J. Perelman quote: "Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st..."
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. S. J. Perelman
A farm is an irregular patch of nettles bounded by short-term notes, containing a fool and his wife who didn’t know enough to stay in the city. S. J. Perelman
S. J. Perelman quote: "The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we..."
The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. You are what you are. S. J. Perelman
S. J. Perelman quote: "I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse."
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse. S. J. Perelman
S. J. Perelman quote: "Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck."
Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck. S. J. Perelman
S. J. Perelman quote: "The main obligation is to amuse yourself."
The main obligation is to amuse yourself. S. J. Perelman

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