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Authors:

Spike Milligan quotes

Irish Comedian April 16, 1918 – February 27, 2002

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Quotes

Spike Milligan quote: "Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death."
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death. Spike Milligan
The width of neck and shoulder suggested a rugby player, the broken nose confirmed it. Which shows just how wrong you can be as he never played the game in his life. Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan quote: "My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic."
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic. Spike Milligan
The die was cast. It was a proud day for the Milligan family as I was taken from the house. "I'm too young to go," I screamed as Military Policemen dragged me from my pram, clutching a dummy. At Victoria Station the R.T.O. gave me a travel warrant, a white feather and a picture of Hitler marked "This is your enemy." I searched every compartment, but he wasn't on the train. At 4.30, June 2nd, 1940, on a summer's day all mare's tails and blue sky we arrived at Bexhill-on-Sea, where I got... Spike Milligan
Waiting for the operation, there was a gentle tap on the door. In came a strapping nurse. 'Good morning', she shrilled, whipped back the bedclothes, upped with his nightshirt, grabbed his willy, lathered furiously around it till it looked like the Eddystone Lighthouse in a storm, then shaved the whole area till it looked like an oven-ready chicken.'Excuse me, nurse', said Looney, 'why did you knock? Spike Milligan
A family man from Siberia. As a father was very inferior. But one operation. Revised the situation. And now he's Mother Superior Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan quote: "All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan quote: "Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more..."
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan quote: "Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of..."
Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy. Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan quote: "Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy."
Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan quote: "I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm..."
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. Spike Milligan
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan quote: "It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. Spike Milligan
What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?" A Bongaloo, Son," said I, Is a tall bag of cheese Plus a Chinaman's knees And the leg of a nanny goat's eye Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan quote: "Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of..."
Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B? Spike Milligan

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