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Stephen Colbert Quotes

After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.

Stephen Colbert

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If God is watching us, we might as well be interesting. Solomon Short
I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long time. Usually, it's, 'I'm an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.' My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it's still available. Craig Ferguson
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You know, my movies are important on an economic basis, on an artistic basis. Harvey Weinstein
Not marble nor the gilded monuments. Of princes, shall outlive this powerful rhyme, But you shall shine more bright in these contents. Than unswept stone, besmeared with sluttish time. When wasteful war shall statues overturn. And broils roots out the work of masonry, Nor mars his sword nor war's quick fire shall burn. The living record of your memory.'Gainst death and all-oblivious enmity. Shall you pace forth; your praise shall still find room. Even in the eyes of all posterity. That wear... William Shakespeare
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Years ago, I thought up the name Queen. It's just a name. But it's regal, obviously, and -sounds splendid. Freddie Mercury
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There is a noble and a base side to every history. Thomas Wentworth
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If black people mistrust white people, they are mistrusting racism, and that is appropriate. Jasmine Guy
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When you have to stop and think about things is when they go wrong. Tim Duncan
I suppose subconsciously I was thinking in terms of having the scale of it matching the scale of the images. Hence the sort of string quartet, jazz band and electronic stuff. Jonny Greenwood
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You can't drive a Spike with a Tack Hammer John Philip Sousa
I was dealing with craft, and that's the surprising thing, the number of people who have literally broken down on our stage, because when you're talking about the thing that is most important to someone, they're liable to feel something strong. James Lipton
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Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out. Edwin Markham
Ah!' he said, slowly turning his eyes towards me. 'Well! If you was writin' to her, p'raps you'd recollect to say that Barkis was willin'; would you?' 'That Barkis is willing,' I repeated, innocently. 'Is that all the message?' 'Ye-es,' he said, considering. 'Ye-es. Barkis is willin Charles Dickens
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