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Steve Martin Quotes

Steve Martin quote: "I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing..."

I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I'm working at it.

Steve Martin

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In this country, don't forget, a habit is no damn private hell. There's no solitary confinement outside of jail. A habit is hell for those you love. And in this country it's the worst kind of hell for those who love you. Billie Holiday
Jimmy: You'll end up like one of those chocolate merengues my wife is so fond of [Alison starts banging jars]...sweet and sticky on the outside, and sink your teeth in it [savouring every word]-inside, all white, messy and disgusting. [offering teapot sweetly to Helena] Milk? John Osborne
Chuck Palahniuk quote: "I'm a toxic waste byproduct of God's creation."
I'm a toxic waste byproduct of God's creation. Chuck Palahniuk
Everybody's got skeletons in the closets. Every once in a while, you've got to open up the closet and the let the skeletons breathe. Half the time, the very thing you think is gonna destroy you or ruin you is the very thing that nobody cares about. My advice to people with skeletons is to dust them off every now and then-- as long as your closet's aint full of them. It's not good to have more than two or three. Tyler Perry
Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen. Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Douglas Adams
John Steinbeck quote: "You're buying years of work, toil in the sun; you're buying a..."
You're buying years of work, toil in the sun; you're buying a sorrow that can't talk. John Steinbeck
When I was young - really young - I used to think that the kids who had money, who were popular at school and who did well at things must have had horrible home lives - abusive parents or nasty siblings or lived in cupboard under stairs. It’s kind of sick when you think about it, but what I figured was that life should be fair - everyone had to have good and bad things in their lives, and no one could have a wholly good life or a wholly bad life because that would upset the balance of... Skylar Laine
Ayn Rand quote: "her face lay still on the air under his face..."
her face lay still on the air under his face... Ayn Rand
Germaine Greer quote: "Status ought not to be measured by a woman's ability to..."
Status ought not to be measured by a woman's ability to attract and snare a man. Germaine Greer
Emile M. Cioran quote: "No one recovers from the disease of being born, a deadly wound..."
No one recovers from the disease of being born, a deadly wound if there ever was one. Emile M. Cioran
Since [man's] true nature has been lost, anything can become his nature: similarly, true good being lost, anything can become his true good. Blaise Pascal
Dean Inge quote: "Man, as we know him, is a poor creature; he is halfway between..."
Man, as we know him, is a poor creature; he is halfway between an ape and a god and he is travelling in the right direction. Dean Inge
Everything that's realistic has some sort of ugliness in it. Even a flower is ugly when it wilts, a bird when it seeks its prey, the ocean when it becomes violent. Sharon Tate
Chuck Palahniuk quote: "You can't be beautiful," Brandy says about a thousand times,..."
You can't be beautiful," Brandy says about a thousand times, "until you feel beautiful. Chuck Palahniuk
States are looking for low-cost solutions that will enable better communication, while avoiding the danger in which the chain of command breaks down in emergencies. We do not want everyone talking to everyone else all the time. John Shimkus