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Steven Wright quotes

American Comedian December 6, 1955

TOP 10 Steven Wright quotes

Steven Wright quotes in french
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Quotes

Steven Wright quote: "I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add."
I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?"
Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives? Steven Wright
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add."
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?"
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it..."
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be..."
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the..."
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "When an evil masochist dies, does he go to hell, or would..."
When an evil masochist dies, does he go to hell, or would heaven be a better punishment? Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering."
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked,..."
The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "Smoking cures weight problems, eventually."
Smoking cures weight problems, eventually. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart."
I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live..."
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious! Steven Wright
Steven Wright quote: "I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine."
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine. Steven Wright

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