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Fart Quotes (page 2)

A sneeze travels at a peak velocity of two hundred miles per hour. A burp, more slowly; a fart, slower yet. But a kiss thrown by fingers- its departure is sudden, its arrival ambiguous, and there is no source that can state with authority what speeds are reached in its flight. Tom Robbins
Margaret Atwood quote: "The tension between her lack of control and her attempt to..."
The tension between her lack of control and her attempt to suppress it is horrible. It's like a fart in church. Margaret Atwood
...And nostalgia is a cancer. Nostalgia will fill your heart up with tumors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you are. You're just an old fart dying of terminal nostalgia. Sherman Alexie
Karl Pilkington quote: "I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do..."
I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever. Karl Pilkington
Graham Chapman quote: "I fart in your general direction."
I fart in your general direction. Graham Chapman
I forgot to mention,” Father Christopher said, smiling seraphically at Sir Martin, “that I am also a priest. So let me offer you a blessing.” He pulled out a golden crucifix that had been hidden beneath his shirt and held it toward Lord Slayton’s men. “May the peace and love of our Lord Jesus Christ,” he said, “comfort and sustain you while you take your farting mouths and your turd-reeking presence out of our sight.” He waved a sketchy cross toward the horsemen. “And thus farewell. Bernard Cornwell
Kurt Vonnegut quote: "We're here on Earth to fart around"
We're here on Earth to fart around Kurt Vonnegut
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life! George Lopez
W. H. Auden quote: "Most people enjoy the sight of their own handwriting as they..."
Most people enjoy the sight of their own handwriting as they enjoy the smell of their own farts. W. H. Auden
I once lay in awhite hospitalfor the dying and the dyingself, where some god pissed a rain ofreason to make things growonly to die, where on my knees. I prayed for LIGHT, I prayed for l*i*g*h*t, and prayingcrawled like a blind slug into thewebwhere threads of wind stuck against my mindand I died of pityfor Man, for myself, on a cross without nails, watching in fear asthe pig belches in his sty, farts, blinks and eats. Charles Bukowski
Didn’t you hear what they said about my sister? But you don’t give a rat’s fart, do you, it’s only the Forbidden Forest, Harry I’ve-Faced-Worse Potter doesn’t care what happens to her in here — well, I do, all right, giant spiders and mental stuff — J. K. Rowling
I want to do it too!" (sitting motionless)Nudge: "Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church."Max:(muttering)"Appropriately enough"Iggy: "What about me?" (stands still)Max: "No, you're visible."Iggy: "Am not!"Max: (throws a pinecone at him) "Could I do that if I wouldn't see you? James Patterson
Just let them sit in the goddam sun. But the world won't let them because there's nothing more dangerous than letting old farts sit in the sun. They might be thinking. Same thing with kids. Keep 'em busy or they might start thinking. Frank McCourt
The dandelion was long popularly known as the 'pissabed' because of its supposed diuretic properties, and other names in everyday use included 'mare's fart', 'naked ladies', 'twitch-ballock', 'hounds-piss', 'open arse', and 'bum-towel'. Bill Bryson
James Ellroy quote: "He'll alibi me up tighter than a popcorn fart, and that is air..."
He'll alibi me up tighter than a popcorn fart, and that is air tight. James Ellroy

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