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Funniness Quotes (page 29)

He's a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don't think it was an accident he let me find out how the Mirror worked. It's almost like he thought I had the right to face Voldemort if I could... J. K. Rowling
Everything we do means something, Ender realized. Them laughing. Me not laughing. He toyed with the idea of trying to be like the other boys. But he couldn’t think of any jokes, and none of theirs seemed funny. Wherever their laughter came from, Ender couldn’t find such a place in himself. Orson Scott Card
Is this some kind of joke?"That's for me to know and you to find out."Maybe you think it's funny to put up signs about people who want to commit suicide."Are you about to?"And what if I was?"I wouldn't tell you the gorgeous reasons I have discovered for going on living."What would you do?"I'd ask you to name the rock-bottom price you'd charge to go on living for just one more week. Kurt Vonnegut
Now, I'm no scientist, but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain, you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science. Ellen DeGeneres
Rob Lowe quote: "Be funny whenever possible, even if some people don't get it."
Be funny whenever possible, even if some people don't get it. Rob Lowe
James Patterson quote: "Never underestimate the power of funny, it moves mountains."
Never underestimate the power of funny, it moves mountains. James Patterson
Will Rogers quote: "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else."
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. Will Rogers
I swear, sometimes I am convinced my life is just a series of sketches for America's Funniest Home Videos, minus all that pants-dropping business. Except my life really isn't all that funny if you think about it. Meg Cabot
It's a funny thing about looking for things. If you hunt for a needle in a haystack you don't find it. If you don't give a darn whether you ever see the needle or not it runs into you the first time you lean against the stack. P. G. Wodehouse
Charles Bukowski quote: "They laughed. Things were funny. They weren't afraid to..."
They laughed. Things were funny. They weren't afraid to care. There was no sense to life, to the structure of things. Charles Bukowski
Stephen King quote: "A dimwit thinks nothing is funny unless it's mean."
A dimwit thinks nothing is funny unless it's mean. Stephen King
Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings...Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public high school. Dudley thought this was very funny. "They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?" "No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said. J. K. Rowling
Albert Einstein quote: "The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as..."
The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer. Albert Einstein
It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful. Roald Dahl
Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that "women aren't funny." Using that same math, I can state: Male comedy writers piss in cups. Tina Fey

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