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Kidding Quotes (page 36)

Erma Bombeck quote: "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe..."
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. Erma Bombeck
When a couple has an argument nowadays they may think it s about money or power or sex or how to raise the kids or whatever. What they're really saying to each other, though without realizing it, is this: "You are not enough people! Kurt Vonnegut
When kids hit 1 year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit. Johnny Depp
They laid up in the shade of a rock shelf until past noon, scratching out a place in the gray lava dust to sleep, and they set forth in the afternoon down the valley following the war trail and they were very small and they moved very slowly in the immensity of that landscape. Come evening they hove toward the rimrock again and Sproule pointed out a dark stain on the face of the barren cliff. It looked like the black from old fires. The kid shielded his eyes. The scalloped canyon walls... Cormac McCarthy
Rich kid," Shiva yelled, "you don't know one damn thing! What purpose, man? What thing in the whole sister-sleeping world got reason, yara? For what reason you're rich and I'm poor? Where's the reason in starving, man? God knows how many millions of damn fools living in this country, man, and you think there's a purpose! Man, I'll tell you -- you got to get what you can, do what you can with it, and then you got to die. That's reason, rich boy. Everything else is only mother-sleeping wind! Salman Rushdie
There is that American pastime known as "kidding" - with the result that everyone is ashamed and hangdog about showing the slightest enthusiasm or passion or sincere feeling about anything. Brenda Ueland
Bullshit," Salander said again. "Gottfried isn't the only kid who was ever mistreated. That doesn't give him the right to murder women. He made that choice himself. And the same is true of Martin. Steig Larsson
She wears latex bicycle shorts nearly every day, and I will tell you why: because she can. I consider it an act of aggression against the rest of us mothers who forgot to start working out after we had kids. Anne Lamott
After dinner the babies get fussy and Min puts a mush of ice cream and Hershey's syrup in their bottles and we watch The Worst That Could Happen, a half-hour of computer simulations of tragedies that have never actually occurred but theoretically could. A kid gets hit by a train and flies into a zoo, where he's eaten by wolves. A man cuts his hand off chopping wood and while wandering around screaming for help is picked up by a tornado and dropped on a preschool during recess and lands on a... George Saunders
Eddie Izzard quote: "Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia."
Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. Eddie Izzard
Peppermint Patty's team is short a glove, so I'm walking over to lend them mine." "You're kidding! Don't you think they're taking advantage of you?" "No, I'm doing it because I want to do it." "What are you, some kind of mystic?! Charles M. Schulz
Thomas," Chess said, "if you don't want to be famous and have your stories heard, then why'd you start the band up?"I heard voices," Thomas said. "I guess I heard voices. I mean, I'm sort of a liar, enit? I like the attention. I want strangers to love me. I don't even know why. But I want all kids of strangers to love me."The Indian horses screamed. Sherman Alexie
For example, when Seymour told one of the twins or Zooey or Franny or even Mme. Boo Boo (who was only two years younger than myself, and often entirely the Lady), to take off his or her galoshes on coming into the apartment, each and all of them knew he mostly meant that the floor would get tracked up if they didn't and that Bessie would have to get out the mop. When I told them to take off their galoshes, they knew I mostly meant that people who didn't were slobs. It was bound to make no... J. D. Salinger
if you don't have doubts you're either kidding yourself or asleep. Doubts are the ants-in-the-pants of faith. They keep it alive and moving. Frederick Buechner
Stephenie Meyer quote: "Whoa, whoa! Hold up, there, kid. She lives in Forks,..."
Whoa, whoa! Hold up, there, kid. She lives in Forks, remember? So she gets rained on. Stephenie Meyer

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