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Toilet Paper Quotes

You're the man who stands on the street corner with a roll of toilet paper, and written on each square are the words, 'I love you.' And each passer-by, no matter who, gets a square all his or her own. I don't want my square of toilet paper.'I didn't realize it was toilet paper. Kurt Vonnegut
Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I have ever seen in my life - no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito. David Sedaris
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. Joey Bishop
The sixth grade seemed to please him from the beginning: he went through a brief Egyptian Period that baffled me - he tried to walk flat a great deal, sticking one arm in front of him and one in back of him, putting one foot behind the other. He declared Egyptians walked that way; I said if they did I didn't see how they got anything done, but Jem said they accomplished more than the Americans ever did, they invented toilet paper and perpetual embalming, and asked where would we be today if... Harper Lee
The officious swagger in her gait might have been some flavor of self-possession or the cool skedaddle of a shoplifter making for the door. In either case, the streamer of toilet paper that trailed from the waistband of her tiny skirt like the banner of an advertising airplane pretty much spoiled the effect. Michael Chabon
Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit, then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty. Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass. Charles Bukowski
Barbara Pym quote: "The burden of keeping three people in toilet paper seemed to..."
The burden of keeping three people in toilet paper seemed to me rather a heavy one. Barbara Pym
Janet Frame quote: "Timmy, who made a daring escape, also made a mistake of paying..."
Timmy, who made a daring escape, also made a mistake of paying the taxi driver with a check made out of toilet paper. Janet Frame
We waited and waited. All of us. Didn't the shrink know that waiting was one of the things that drove people crazy? People waited all their lives. They waited to live, they waited to die. They waited in line to buy toilet paper. They waited in line for money. And if they didn't have any money they waited in longer lines. You waited to go to sleep and then you waited to awaken. You waited to get married and you waited to get divorced. You waited for it to rain, you waited for it to stop. You... Charles Bukowski
Andy Rooney quote: "I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The..."
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. Andy Rooney
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO! Eddie Izzard
Chuck Palahniuk quote: "The worst job in the whole world must be recycling toilet paper."
The worst job in the whole world must be recycling toilet paper. Chuck Palahniuk
Haruki Murakami quote: "As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had..."
As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had to be standards to measure up to. Haruki Murakami
I've always loved 3D. In fact, as a kid, I was exposed to 3D at an early age because my grandfather was a specialist of 3D in cinematheques. And then my cousin put it in 'Science of Sleep' with toilet paper tube cities. But he was a specialist and I always wanted to do something in 3D. Michel Gondry
I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. Paula Poundstone

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