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Yossarian Quotes (page 2)

What would they do to me," he asked in confidential tones, "if I refused to fly them?"We'd probably shoot you," ex-P. F. C. Wintergreen replied. We?" Yossarian cried in surprise. "What do you mean, we? Since when are you on their side?"If you're going to be shot, whose side do you expect me to be on?" ex-P. F. C. Wintergreen retorted Joseph Heller
The enemy," retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, "is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live. Joseph Heller
What would they do to me,' he asked in confidential tones, 'if I refused to fly [the missions]?' We'd probably shoot you,' ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen replied. We?' Yossarian cried in surprise. 'What do yo mean, we? Since when are you on their side?' If you're going to be shot, whose side do you expect me to be on?' ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen retorted. Joseph Heller
The captain was a good chess player, and the games were always interesting. Yossarian had stopped playing chess with him because the games were so interesting they were foolish. Joseph Heller
Why,' swore Yossarian at him approvingly, 'you evil-eyed, mechanically-aptituded, disaffiliated son of a -----, did you walk around with anything in your cheeks?' 'I didn't,' Orr said, 'walk around with anything in my cheeks. I walked around with crab apples in my cheeks. When I couldn't get crab apples, I walked around with horse chestnuts. In my cheeks. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the..."
It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him. Joseph Heller
But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge he had never been wrong. Joseph Heller
This stuff is better than cotton candy, really it is. It’s made out of real cotton. Yossarian, you’ve got to help me make the men eat it. Egyptian cotton is the finest cotton in the world. Joseph Heller
The only end in sight was Yossarian's own, and he might have remained in the hospital until doomsday had it not been for that patriotic Texan with his infundibuliform jowls and his lumpy, rumpleheaded, indestructible smile cracked forever across the front of his face like the brim of a black ten-gallon hat. Joseph Heller
What the hell are you getting so upset about?' he asked her bewilderedly in a tone of contrive amusement. 'I thought you didn't believe in God.' I don't,' she sobbed, bursting violently into tears. 'But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him to be.' Yossarian laughed and turned her arms loose. 'Let's have a little more religious freedom between us,' he proposed obligingly. 'You don't believe in the God you want... Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying..."
Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "They were the most depressing group of people Yossarian had..."
They were the most depressing group of people Yossarian had ever been with. They were always in high spirits. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "Doc Daneeka was Yossarian's friend and would do just about..."
Doc Daneeka was Yossarian's friend and would do just about nothing in his power to help him. Joseph Heller
After he made up his mind to spend the rest of the war in the hospital, Yossarian wrote letters to everyone he knew saying that he was in the hospital but never mentioning why. One day he had a better idea. To everyone he knew he wrote that he was going on a very dangerous mission. "They asked for volunteers. It's very dangerous, but someone has to do it. I'll write you the instant I get back." And he had not written anyone since. Joseph Heller
Joseph Heller quote: "Orr was one of the homeliest freaks Yossarian had ever..."
Orr was one of the homeliest freaks Yossarian had ever encountered, and one of the most attractive. Joseph Heller

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