TOP 10 Demetri Martin quotes

10

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

9

I love Steven Wright.

8

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

7

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

6

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

5

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

4

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

3

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.

2

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.

1

The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak