TOP 10 Rodney Dangerfield quotes

10

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

9

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

8

Life is just a bowl of pits.

7

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

6

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

5

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

4

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

3

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

2

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

1

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.