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Authors:
Augusten Burroughs Quotes

Augusten Burroughs quotes

American Writer October 23, 1965

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Quotes

Augusten Burroughs quote: "Reading takes solitude and it takes focus."
Reading takes solitude and it takes focus. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like..."
I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water. Augusten Burroughs
Just as I had long suspected, a person didn't really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people. Augusten Burroughs
No matter your spiritual beliefs, if you hold any, the answer is the same: sometimes, why is not knowable. If you open the refrigerator door and a tub of Kozy Shack tapioca pudding tumbles out and splats open onto the floor, you clean it. You don’t stand there and question why it happened, how it was possible. Why doesn’t matter now. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "He's a really nice guy, if only I weren't me."
He's a really nice guy, if only I weren't me. Augusten Burroughs
You're at the crack addict's apartment? Having a little sandwich?" he says. From the tone of his voice, you'd think I just told him I was hanging out at a playground wearing a NAMBLA t-shirt. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior."
Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior. Augusten Burroughs
I referred albums to the more modern eight tracks. Albums came with sleeves which reminded me of clean underwear. Plus, the pictures were bigger, making it easier to see each follicle of Tony Orlando's shiny arm hair. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world..."
My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "handsome people are always interesting to watch. But a..."
...handsome people are always interesting to watch. But a handsome person in crisis is riveting. Augusten Burroughs
I had always had the oddest feeling, consider it knowledge, that if I were ever to find myself inside the cockpit of a 767 with two dead piolets and afew hundred passengers in the cabin behind me, I would absolutely be able to land the ninety-thousand-pound jet. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "If you're gay and live in New York and don't go to gym,..."
If you're gay and live in New York and don't go to gym, eventually they come for you. Augusten Burroughs
Our lives are one endless stretch of misery punctuated by processed fast foods and the occasional crisis or amusing curiosity. Augusten Burroughs
Augusten Burroughs quote: "George had been surprised by my ability to leave him. He had..."
George had been surprised by my ability to leave him. He had not seen that in me. Augusten Burroughs
Although my parents never attended church or mentioned Jesus except when they screamed at each other—and then they used his full name, 'Jesus Fucking Christ Augusten Burroughs

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