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Authors:

Erma Bombeck quotes

American Journalist February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996

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Quotes

Erma Bombeck quote: "It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly..."
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League..."
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign..."
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years." Erma Bombeck
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go. Erma Bombeck
There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. Erma Bombeck
...the words of young Ted Kennedy, Jr., who lost his leg to cancer. "People are taught we should look perfect," he said. "I wondered who would ever go out with a kid with one leg. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and..."
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic'..."
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart. Erma Bombeck
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. Erma Bombeck
There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they’re still there. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular..."
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born. Erma Bombeck
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order. Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck quote: "I've exercised with women so thin, buzzards followed them to..."
I've exercised with women so thin, buzzards followed them to their cars. Erma Bombeck

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